


One Last Day With Your Beloved

by ladyshakespeare



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Kissing, Love, Memories, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Past, Pining, The TARDIS knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 12,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyshakespeare/pseuds/ladyshakespeare
Summary: Kazran's words stuck with Eleven and he decides to revisit the time he spent with Rose Tyler. It's not long before he starts gently interfering, realizing that his love for her is still very much present and for all time.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> So this idea popped up after watching the Doctor Who episode A Christmas Carol. I've seen a lot of people do videos and stories of what they think would be his last day with his beloved; it's usually the End of Time scene when he sees her while dying. While I agree (and I cry every time I see that episode), I don't know that he would choose that day in particular. So I began thinking about all of the episodes and compiled scenes. Not every episode is present, only ones that stuck out to me. The scenes are short but I hope you like them.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

"Better a broken heart than no heart at all," the Doctor told Kazran.

"Try it," Kazran snarled. "You try it. One last day with your beloved, which day would you choose?"

The Doctor closed his eyes. Against his will, she flooded his brain. Images of her, the woman he loved and lost, so long ago. His beautiful pink-and-yellow human. Her face, her smile, her scent. The way she felt in his arms, the way her laugh always made him happy. He knew a part of him would never recover from losing her, the first person he ever let into his hearts.

He swallowed and tried to fight the images down. They would be best for another day.

He felt his hearts clench as she flashed in his brain once more before he focused on the task at hand.

* * *

Later, on the TARDIS, he allowed himself to think of her. He began questioning what day he WOULD choose; so many of them were precious to him.

Against his will, the TARDIS began punching in a destination. He didn't realize it until they were already in flight; he was so lost in his thoughts.

"What is the point?" He asked his beloved ship. "Relive the pain that loving her comes with it? Remember seeing her broken on that beach in Norway? I let her go, let her be happy with a version of myself. I wanted her safe, wanted her to live. I can't keep torturing myself."

The TARDIS spoke that he will _always_ love her, that she will always be a part of him.

"I know that," he snapped back. "Rose Tyler is the love of my life. My one and only. No matter how many years pass, no matter if I try again, she will always be locked into my hearts. So why go back and relive anything?"

_Because you need to. You have forgotten what it was like with her. Remember. Remember._

"I don't want to remember. I'm 'the one who forgets.' I already live every day with the pain of losing her. Why put me through that again?"

The TARDIS landed softly and he sighed. He walked down the ramp and peeked outside. He immediately knew the day and the location. He turned back.

"Really? Of all the days to start with, it's this one?"

The TARDIS hummed.

Sighing once more, he grabbed a coat that she had mysteriously placed on the railing and headed outside into the snow.


	2. Chapter 1: The End of Time

He stood in a darkened corner, adjacent to the Powell Estate. He could see his former self in the opposite corner, fighting against the radiation that was coursing through him. He felt a twinge of pain at the memory.

Then she came into view. His beautiful pink-and-yellow human. He realized as soon as he had opened the TARDIS doors that she had taken him to New Year's Day 2005. The first day that Rose met him and ultimately, his last. He stared at her.

She was younger, of course. Full of innocence. Her hair was longer but she was definitely still his Rose. She seemed cold by the way she clutched at herself as she made the trek to her apartment. His hearts sped up as he watched her approach.

He heard the groan from his former counterpart and saw her turn to him. He remembered the conversation perfectly, as it often floated through his mind when he was alone in the TARDIS. He remembered that he had wanted to tell her, finally, how he felt about her. It was his last chance. But yet, he still couldn't bring himself to do it.

_Coward every time._

Especially when it came to Rose Tyler.

"Blimey! How much have you had?" He heard when he focused back on the situation in front of him. He smiled. She had thought him a drunken stranger. Of course she did, she hadn't officially met him yet. That wouldn't be for about three months, early March. His favorite date in all of creation.

Of course, he felt sadness at seeing her again. He wished he had told her how he felt oh so many years ago. His half-human self had said the words, but he should have. He had wanted her to know. He loved her so much.

In addition to sadness, he felt whole. The emptiness that had been his constant companion these last few years left as he watched her converse with his former self. Rose had always been good for him. He knew he wasn't worthy of her and never would be. Perhaps it was best that he walked away from her when he did. He would probably have gotten her killed if she stayed with him, and that would ultimately destroy him.

He saw her say "see ya!" and bound off towards the Estate, towards him. He made sure he was still completely hidden in shadow as she rushed past him. He caught a whiff of her scent and he closed his eyes, reveling in it.

_Vanilla._

Reopening his eyes, he saw his former self hold himself against the wall as he struggled to get back to the TARDIS for his regeneration. Wanting him to see himself, he slowly walked towards his counterpart, who had now collapsed in the snow.

He could hear his breathing, rough and ragged. He closed his eyes for a moment remembering the pain. Focusing, he opened them in time to see his former self look up at him as he passed. He held eye contact with him, time virtually coming to a halt.

He passed slowly, his right hand holding an object. He turned it on and it buzzed. He knew his Converse-clad self could hear it. He had wanted that; wanted him to know that he was his next form. He heard the sharp intake of breath as he continued to walk past.

Reaching the TARDIS, he took one last look around at his surroundings. He knew this would probably be the last time he would have anything to do with the Powell Estate. Sadness overtook him again. There had been a part of him that wanted to march right up to her apartment, bang on her door, and snog her until the end of time. He would gladly endure the slap that would accompany the snog, but it would be so worth it just to feel her in his arms again. To feel whole. To feel happy.

The TARDIS started up again, set the coordinates for the next destination, as he pulled the ring out of his pocket. He stared at it. It was a ring that he had hoped would have been a wedding ring for her. He had made the decision he was going to marry her when she had gotten sucked away from him in Canary Wharf. Upon losing her, he tried to give the ring to Donna Noble. He said it was a "bio-damper" ring so she would wear it and feel safe. But to be honest, he just wanted it gone. But somehow, after his first meeting with Donna, it appeared back in his pocket. And he couldn't bear to give it up again. So he kept it tucked away.

He held it up to the light. Rose gold, fitting for his Rose. He mimed putting it on her finger before leaning in for a kiss. He could almost taste her on his lips, which is how real she seemed. He closed his eyes and imagined the "what if."

He didn't come out of the fantasy until the TARDIS stopped at the next destination. Looking at the monitor, he smiled.

_Of course,_ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are going to be short, I hope that you are okay with that. Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 2: Rose

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, these chapters are not long. Nor are they in order really. It's whenever the TARDIS takes us.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Memories flooded his brain as he walked through the department store. He remembered being in that basement, grabbing her hand and immediately feeling the connection. He said one word, just one word, and that is forever seared into his memory.

"_Run!"_

And they did.

He didn't stop to think about it at the time, but she was the one he needed. The one who would change him, make him better. The feeling of her hand in his as they ran through the corridors felt fantastic. Like they had always meant to be. And he knew in that moment that she was special.

He stopped short when he saw her and snapped out of his musings. She was folding some clothes and looking bored out of her mind. He smiled. He knew that she wanted more out of life. She found it when he came around. He had wanted to show her all of time and space. She had already loved the adventures they went on and he had so much more in mind.

"_Can I just say…traveling with you, I love it."_

"_Me too."_

"May I help you sir?"

He snapped back to reality as she stood in front of him, a smile on her face. He swallowed.

"Uh, I uh…"

She laughed lightly and she stuck her tongue between her teeth.

_Damn,_ he thought. That always got him.

"I'm sorry," he said, flailing his hands about.

"That's alright. Did you need help with anything?"

He shook his head and she shrugged. "If you do, my name is Rose."

"Rose," he breathed, her name on his lips once more. "That is a beautiful name."

She blushed and he smiled at that. He wanted to see her smile like that all the time. And the blush was adorable. He wondered if it traveled all the way down her slender body.

_Stop it!_ He chided himself.

"Thank you," she said. Her eyes traveled down to his neck. "And may I say, I like your bow tie."

He grinned as he reached up and touched it. "Bow ties are cool," he said. She chuckled.

"Let me know if you need me for anything," she said as she turned away and continued at her job.

He had wanted to say "Yes, I need you for everything. For being with me, for taming me. For making me better. For sharing my life, for stealing my hearts. I need _you_, Rose Tyler."

But he couldn't say those things. At least, not without sounding insane at this moment. Instead of a drunken stranger on New Year's, he would come off a drunken stranger in a department store. Or worse.

He stayed in the area that she was working in for a while, stealing glances at her every chance he got. She didn't notice, too wrapped up in her job or helping customers to see him. He stiffened when he saw Mickey Smith stop by to take her to lunch. He let out a low growl when he leaned in and kissed her cheek.

He didn't like to admit it, but he had always been jealous of Mickey Smith. Which was why he treated him so poorly. He knew she had been with him, and that Jimmy Stones previously, but that didn't mean he liked it. He knew he was a hypocrite because he had been married for Rassilon's sake! Not that he loved her; that was an arranged marriage. But because Rose Tyler was _the one_, he hated knowing that others had been involved with her.

One of his biggest fantasies had been the first time he would have made love to her. He still saw it plain as day. They would have returned from some adventure in which they had gotten soaking wet. He would see her shirt cling to her and he would help her remove it, slowly. And of course, his walls would crumble and she would end up in his bed, writhing underneath him as he showed her just how much she meant to him.

He still had that fantasy, even though it was too late to be with her.

She had left the store now, off on her lunch with Mickey. He decided to leave himself before getting in trouble for "creeping" in the women's area. As he walked on, he saw his leather-clad self duck into a corner and hit the elevator button. He smiled at that.

_Only a few hours before I officially meet Rose Tyler._

And he would immediately fall in love.


	4. Chapter 3: The End of the World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is enjoying this story. This chapter is a little shorter, words wise.

He sat in his seat, watching her and his former self enter the restaurant. They were smiling at each other and holding hands. His left hand flexed involuntarily as he remembered her hand in his. She had fit so perfectly, like she was always meant to be there. Other companions' hands he held never felt as good, as safe, as at home as hers did. Before or since.

He took a bite of one of his chips. He hadn't ever had them since she left, the memory of her too painful, too special. It was _their_ thing. But in this restaurant, how could he not? He even doused them with vinegar, the way she liked them, so he could have the full Rose Tyler experience.

On his right side stood a bag with more to go, he planned to store them in the TARDIS for later. She would be able to preserve them until he needed a moment of nostalgia and then she would produce them for him.

He caught a whiff of her as she walked past him, the vanilla scent once again invading his nostrils. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reveling in her. He wanted so much to speak to her, to hold her, to breathe her in. Even if it was only for a moment. One last time with his beloved.

Rose and his leather self laughed and he remembered the conversation. She had told him the story about Jackie mistaking the paper boy for the mayor's son and how she was going to try to set Rose up with him so she could get the paper for free. Of course, that didn't happen and she had to cancel the subscription because he was too embarrassed to come there again.

The bow-tied Time Lord smiled at the memory and stuck another chip in his mouth. He didn't realize how much time had passed as he watched them, also in no hurry to leave. But at one point, he had to use the loo so he left his spot and did his business.

As he left the area, he was fixing his jacket sleeve when he ran smack into her. Into Rose Tyler. Her vanilla scent wafted through his nose as he immediately grabbed her elbows to steady her. Once again, that electric feeling was back, stronger than before. His grip increased slightly.

"I'm sorry," she said as she looked into his green eyes.

_Well, you got your wish._

"No bother," he breathed out. They stared into each other's eyes, a connection made. He willed her to know who he was, even though he knew that was impossible.

She tilted her head and stuck her tongue between her teeth. "Have we met?"

He shook his head. It wasn't that she couldn't know he was the same man whom she has spoken to a day previously in the department store, but he preferred she didn't. He was already messing with timelines enough as it was. All for her.

"I'm sorry for staring," she said as she looked down. "You just look familiar."

"I get that a lot," he said softly. She slowly raised her cinnamon-colored eyes to him, looking up from her lashes. His knees went weak.

_She is so beautiful._

Raising his right hand slowly from her elbow, he tucked a hair behind her ear gently. Hearing her breath hitch, he let his hand linger close to her cheek.

He felt a magnetic pull towards her, as though she was commanding him to kiss her. She grew closer before they were interrupted.

"Rose…" came a familiar voice from behind them.

He immediately dropped his hands and pulled away, the moment over. His leather-clad self was wanting to leave. She turned to acknowledge him.

Upon turning back to the strange bow-tied man, she saw he was gone. She looked around. How could he have left so quickly and quietly? Shrugging, she returned to the tall man who wrapped his leather jacket around her and led her back into the London street.

The bag of chips that he had ordered had disappeared when he had, all traces of him gone except for the feeling of his hands holding her elbows and his voice in her ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, The Unquiet Dead.


	5. Chapter 4: The Unquiet Dead

The Doctor loved Christmas. Rose Tyler loved Christmas. He was happy to take her to 1869 to meet his idol, Charles Dickens. Of course, danger always found them. They wouldn't have it any other way.

He walked down the street that night, the sights and sounds of Christmas front and center. He saw himself, in just a leather jacket, run into a building with Rose on his heels. She looked beautiful, as she always did. The dress fit her features well. He had been a cad when he followed up his compliment with "for a human." He had still been figuring out his feelings for her and couldn't risk any slip ups. Rassilon forbid if he just pay a compliment.

He pulled his winter coat closer. He wished he had brought a hat as it was once again snowing. He loved the snow. Before he left 1869 he was determined to build a snowman. Something to leave his mark that wouldn't last.

Hearing commotion, he stopped. He saw Rose talking with someone after dragging a body out. He had always wondered what went down, he had been inside fawning over Charles Dickens.

He watched as the man clomped his hand over her nose and mouth, smothering her with a rag. She had been chloroformed. A part of him, a huge part of him, wanted to shout out to stop, but he remained quiet. He couldn't interfere again, his incident in the chip shop fresh in his mind. At least, that's what he told himself. Besides, he knew he rescued her a little while later.

Rose struggled against the man's arms and looked around frantically. Right before passing out, she saw a man wearing a long coat and a prolonged chin watching them. She tried to signal to him, as he had to see that she was being chloroformed. He looked familiar.

_How do I know him?_ She asked before darkness consumed her.

The Doctor watched with sadness as she was shoved into the cart and the carriage took off. Taking a step back, he saw his former self come barreling out of the building and shouting her name. He remembered the fear he felt for his newest friend and companion. She had already begun to change him and he had to make sure to get her back.

His leather-clad self hopped into Charles Dickens' carriage and sped off. His eyes connected with the bow-tied man and he pointed in the direction that the other carriage went. The two men held each other's gaze until the carriage was out of sight.

Taking a deep breath, the Doctor looked up at the snow. It had increased and he felt it on his face as he enjoyed it again. For too long, he had denied himself. For too long, he had shoved feelings aside because he didn't want to be hurt again. But as the snow fell on his cheeks, he realized that he was a fool. He should enjoy this. He should enjoy the memories with his pink-and-yellow human. Yes, it was incredibly painful losing her but there were so many good memories as well. And it wasn't like she was _truly_ gone, she wasn't. She was always there, always with him. Locked into his hearts, never to leave.

She always would be.

Keeping the promise he made to himself, he stopped in an alley and built a snowman. He didn't have anything for the eyes, so it was just balls of snow on top of one another. But for him, that was enough. He took his scarf off and wrapped it around his cold friend.

Walking back to the TARDIS, he smiled as he remembered a conversation he had with her.

_I'm so glad I met you._

_Me too._

He hadn't been lying. He was glad he had met her. She had a compassion that he did not. She softened him. She had shown him a different way of doing things, with her adamancy of saving Gwyneth. It was futile, unfortunately, but it helped him to see there was always another way. And because of Rose Tyler, he remained that man today. He never wanted to let her down, no matter how many millennia passed.

Stepping into the TARDIS, he nodded at her to send him to the next destination, already feeling giddy at reliving these memories. Perhaps, just perhaps, he can speak to her again.


	6. Chapter 5: New Earth

The TARDIS once again landed on New Earth. He remembered the first time he had brought Rose here, not long after he had regenerated into his tenth self. It was where he had coined the pink-and-yellow phrase that he used to describe her. It fit so well, actually.

Walking to the hospital, he saw his pinstriped self with her lying on the apple grass. He recalled the conversation as they discussed their first date to that chip shop. He smiled at that recent memory. Rose was growing closer to him in this form.

Entering the hospital, he noticed once again that it was missing a shop. "I love a little shop," he had said. He chuckled to himself, determined to find a little shop soon. He stood hidden in the crowd so he wouldn't be noticed by anyone. It wasn't long before the other two entered and began their adventure.

Determined not to interfere this time, he just sat down and pretended to read a book. He knew that they would reappear soon because Rose had to snog him. Well, Rose's body with Cassandra controlling her that is.

He had enjoyed the kiss at the time, even if it had surprised him. Had she not pulled away so quickly, he would have wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, breaking down some of his barriers. As it was, he only had the memory to relive.

The Doctor watched it now. He watched as she pulled him to her, hands in his hair as she snogged him passionately. The Doctor's fingers gently lifted to his mouth; he could still feel her lips on him. Could still taste her. She tasted like honey. Her lips were soft and perfect. His counterpart thought all those same things as she pulled away. He was also disappointed in that, having wanted to continue. He stared at her as she walked away, his eyes focused on her ass as his mind struggled to catch up.

"Yup, still got it." He ran a hand through his hair and followed after the beautiful blonde.

The bow-tied Doctor snickered at that, always having a bit of ego about him. Especially the last form; he was quite pretty.

At this point, he thought it was Rose that had snogged him, although he was starting to have his doubts. He was both disappointed and relieved to find out the truth. Disappointed because he was in love with her and wanted nothing more than to continue kissing her. Relieved because he was a coward and he knew that would be a way of breaking down some of his walls. And if he did kiss her, he wouldn't stop.

_Rose always found a way in, no matter how many walls I put up. She really is my soulmate._

After seeing both the Cassandra-controlled Rose and the former self disappear into the elevator, the Doctor picked up his book and headed outdoors. He breathed in the fresh air that New Earth provided as he walked to the TARDIS. He saw a few more cat nurses and nodded at them as he opened the door and entered.

Sighing, he set his book on the console as she started up, next destination in mind.

"How many of these are we going to do?" he asked her. She hummed in response.

"Haven't I crossed into my timeline too much already? I don't want to cause a paradox."

_But at the same time, I have a chance to see her again. To relive every memory with her and cherish her all the more. My pink-and-yellow human. The one I believe in._

Rubbing a hand over his face, he sat back on the console chair and watched the screen as the TARDIS punched in a date before New Earth.

"Christmas again?" he asked her. "Why?"

A slender box appeared next to him. He remembered what it was as soon as he saw it.

"I guess it couldn't hurt to give it to her. I had always planned to, but things happened…."

The TARDIS sent a hum of love to him as he pushed the memory of Rose being sucked away from him out of his mind and concentrated on Christmas at the Powell Estate.

"Right then," he said. "Geronimo!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can tell, there really is no semblance of order with these stories. I figured the TARDIS would just punch in random dates not really thinking about linear structure. It's all timey wimey anyway.


	7. Chapter 6: Christmas Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eleven is starting to get bold. It's what happens when you love someone.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Staying in shadows, he leaned against the TARDIS and watched as his newly-regenerated self walked slowly towards Harriet Jones's assistant and whispered in his ear. Then he rejoined Rose, Jackie and Mickey as they walked to the Powell Estates.

His new form had not completely shaken off his leather-clad self, even if Rose had softened him. He suspected he would always be rough around the edges. Of course, without Rose to snap him back, his dark side came out more than he would like to admit.

He sighed and began his trek to the apartment, pausing when his pajamaed counterpart walked past him and back to his TARDIS. Making eye contact with the bow-tied Doctor, the younger one simply nodded. The Doctor knew this was the perfect time to talk to Rose and he quickened his pace.

It did not escape his notice that _this_ was the last time he would be at the Powell Estates.

His heartbeats quickened and his breath increased as he stood outside the door and knocked. He hit the button on his bowtie and it quickly began blinking Christmas colors.

The most beautiful face in all of creation opened the door, a smile greeting him. He smiled in return; how could he not?

"Hello," she said.

He had trouble speaking. His mouth opened but nothing came out.

She looked at his bow tie and chuckled. "I like your bow tie."

"Bow ties are cool," he choked out.

She kept thinking he looked familiar, but was still having difficulty placing him. Before she could ask what he wanted, he held a slender box out to her.

"What's this?"

Trying to get a rein on his emotions, he swallowed and then closed his eyes. When he opened them, she was still smiling at him, although this time there was a bit of her tongue in teeth. His knees went weak.

"Christmas present for the lovely lady," he whispered.

"Aw, how sweet. From whom?"

_Damn._ He knew she was going to ask that. How could he tell her?

"The Doctor."

Surprise hit her features, then giddiness. He hadn't lied; he had always planned on giving this to her. She took it gingerly.

"Thank you. I'll open it later this evening."

He nodded, still staring at her. He wanted to memorize her entire face. She seemed to feel a pull towards him, because she didn't step back or close the door on him.

A voice from inside said "Rose, you and your friend are under the mistletoe. You know what that means!"

The Doctor began to panic. He hadn't planned on this. His bow tie continued to blink red and green.

Rose turned back to him, her face flushed. At the same time, they both looked up and saw the sprig of mistletoe. Lowering eyes, they made eye contact.

He had wanted to kiss her in this form. His previous two incarnations had, so why couldn't this one? He decided he would go for it.

The Doctor leaned in slightly, feeling her pull. She did the same. Their lips connected for a brief second, electricity flowing through both of them. He heard her sigh during that brief encounter, as though she knew and accepted him.

He pulled back first. It had only been a peck, but he knew if he had let it continue, he would have thrown her against the wall for a good snog. And he couldn't do that, at least not now. But as he had wished for back on New Earth, he could still feel her on his lips and tasted the honey that was definitely Rose Tyler.

Making a hasty goodbye, after smiling at the beautiful blonde and wishing her adieu, he turned and began walking back down the hallway, his face flushed.

As he approached the stairwell, he saw his other self, now in a brown pinstriped suit, hit the top stair and make eye contact with him again. The Doctor held his gaze, challenging his younger self as he passed him. He narrowed his eyes at the blinking bow-tied one.

_Yes, you recognize me._

Smirking to himself, he went down the stairs quickly, jumping the last three steps as he crossed the street and entered the TARDIS, already off to the next destination.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next, Eleven gives a talking to Ten in Girl in the Fireplace.


	8. Chapter 7: The Girl In the Fireplace

He admitted, it was not his best idea.

He couldn't believe how stupid he had been over Madame de Pompadour. Yes, she was beautiful. But so was his Rose Tyler. And she loved him. He knew that. And what was he doing? Hurting her by snogging someone else.

He knew why he did it. He was trying to save himself pain. He wanted to distance himself so that she would eventually leave on her own. He found that to be better than a long life with her.

The Doctor shook his head at how stupid his former self was. He understood, but that didn't change the fact that it was a stupid idea.

He stepped into the room in Versailles, watching as the pinstriped Doctor broke through a glass mirror on a horse to save the day. He mentally face palmed at that. He always tried to impress people with how clever he was, but sometimes, he missed the mark.

_What in the hell was I thinking?_

Watching the commotion, he remembered how he had promised to stay with Reinette. Of course, he had had a plan. Even if he wouldn't admit it. He knew Rose and Mickey would come back and he would get them all to safety. He would take Reinette on a trip of a lifetime, a chance to see a galaxy, before dropping her back off at home. That was the plan.

_The best laid plans of mice and men…and Time Lords._

The scene changed to his former self looking out a window and up to the stars. He was clearly missing being out there, and of course, missing Rose. He had sent numerous telepathic messages to her, hoping she received them. He thought he could hear her answer, but things were muddled down here.

The bow-tied Doctor entered the room, acting like an advisor. He had had enough of this foolishness.

"Sir," he said to his other self. He turned to him and froze.

"You."

The bow tied Doctor smirked. "You recognize me?"

His counterpart nodded. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed. "I am here to tell you that you are an idiot."

The pinstriped Doctor blanched and took a sip of his wine. "Excuse me?"

He rolled his green eyes and continued. "I know you have a plan to get back. You always do. You're the Doctor. What I don't get is why you want to spend your time with this French tart when there is a lady in the stars who loves you."

The pinstriped Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Reinette is not a tart."

His counterpart raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe she is."

The Doctor nodded. "But you and I both know that Rose Tyler is the real thing. She is beauty, and grace, and courage and _everything_ you could ever want. Why are you pushing her away like this?"

He knew why, but he had to hear it for himself.

The pinstriped Doctor looked him over. "Who are you? How do you know so much?"

"A fellow traveler, like yourself."

The pinstriped Doctor ran a hand through his unruly hair and placed his goblet on the mantelpiece. He turned to his fellow traveler. He looked into his eyes and felt he could trust him.

"Because I will lose her eventually. And I can't bear to see her grow old and die. To know that her life is ending, while mine will continue. It is better to push her away so that she goes on her own."

The bow-tied Doctor smacked him upside the head. The other one yelped and glared at him.

"Know this, my friend, you _will_ lose Rose Tyler. Sooner than you think. The pain of losing her will be too much to bear. You will go on, as you always do, but you will never be whole. She is already in our hearts. She always will be."

The pinstriped Doctor tilted his head. "Who are you?" he repeated.

The tweed Doctor continued. "You love her, whether you will admit or not. You always will. No matter what face you wear, she will remain your constant, your light. She will guide you home and heal you when you need it. Rose Tyler is your beloved."

With that, he turned on his heel and exited the room as the other Doctor stared after him. He reached up and took his goblet back, rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. He had no idea who the strange man was that had accosted him, but he was right. Whether he would admit it or not.

_Wait! Did he say she is already in OUR hearts?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eleven letting a little slip, do you think it was on purpose?


	9. Chapter 8: Idiot's Lantern

He smiled as he saw her. Her beautiful face, once again back where it belonged. He remembered the rage he felt when he first saw her that way, when her face had been stolen. He had sworn vengeance; nothing would stop him from getting her face back.

A part of it, he knew, was selfish. Of course, he wanted her back the way it was. But it was also because he wanted to see her beauty, hear her voice. Watch her face light up when discovering new worlds, drop his eyes to her lips as he imagined kissing them, wondering if they felt as soft and as good as they did on New Earth.

She was talking to an older woman and he took in her whole form. The pink dress she wore was fitted and hugged her curves perfectly. The Doctor had always loved her in this. If he was honest with himself, he had to work extra hard on his control because a part of him wanted to press her against the wall and have his way with her in that dress. Whenever the Doctor thought of her now, it was usually when she was wearing this.

The older woman walked away. Now was his chance! He approached her slowly, as her eyes scanned the crowd for him. He knew he didn't have much time before his younger self appeared.

"Ma'am?"

She turned to him, a smile on her face. He once again felt weak in the knees.

_Rassilon, what she does to me!_

He cleared his throat. "Ma'am, I just wanted to say that I'm glad your face is back and that you are okay. A pretty lady like yourself shouldn't have your beauty robbed from the world."

Her face turned almost the color of her dress as she lowered her eyes at the compliment. He chuckled to himself.

"Thank you, kind sir."

He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it gently and letting it linger. Her cinnamon-colored eyes were warm and sparkling.

_I've seen him before, haven't I? He looks a lot like that strange guy in the shop. The one who kissed me at Christmas._

Before either of them could speak, his counterpart came into view. Releasing her hand, he nodded at her and turned away. He turned his face to the other Doctor, once again making eye contact and holding it. His counterpart glared at him.

_Yes, you recognize me now._

The pinstriped Doctor broke his gaze as he turned it upon the beautiful lady in front of him. Scooping her up in his arms, he spun her around, so happy she was okay.

The bow-tied Doctor walked away, crossing the street and the little foot bridge to the TARDIS. He was quite pleased with himself. He had seen his beloved all these times just once more. He thought back to Kazran's words.

"_One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose?"_

Stopping and turning back to the crowd, he saw that he now had her in an embrace as they swayed softly to music playing.

_I still can't choose a day, for they have all been wonderful. Any day with Rose Tyler is certainly the best day ever. The best time of my long life. Why must I choose?_

The TARDIS hummed at him, letting him know there was still another memory for him as flashes of his beautiful pink-and-yellow human continued behind his eyes. Most of them in a pink dress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School Reunion up next!


	10. Chapter 9: School Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. If I did, the Doctor and Rose would have their HEA.

To say that seeing Sarah Jane Smith again was not awkward was an understatement. The Doctor hid it well, but he knew that he had been unnerved. Seeing her, his old friend and companion, reminded him that human lives were fleeting. That Rose would grow old before he blinked and she would be gone. His hearts would be torn in two.

The Doctor watched his other self and his pink-and-yellow human have a similar discussion about fifty feet away. He leaned against one of the pillars at the school door, eyes focused slowly on them. He remembered he had tried to distance himself after that, so as to save the heartbreak that would accompany losing her later. He smirked that it was after this discussion that he kissed Reinette, which he had just properly reprimanded himself for.

_What a fool I was,_ he thought. _Rose Tyler would always be with me, even when I DID lose her. She was worth the pain. She always would be._

He saw his counterpart say the words that he hoped would bring her understanding.

"I don't age, I regenerate. But humans decay. You whither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you…."

She looked directly into his eyes. "Someone you what, Doctor?"

He swallowed, diverting her question. He knew what she wanted him to say, but he couldn't. It would make it that much harder if the words were out. "You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on…alone. It's the curse of the Time Lords."

The bow-tied Doctor's hearts still clenched hearing himself say that. How he _wanted_ to spend the rest of his life, however many regenerations there might be after that, with her. If given a choice, he would keep her with him forever.

He still might.

Watching the two of them walk away, he suddenly had a thought. Slipping inside the school, he quickly walked to a classroom. He found a slip of paper and a pen and wrote a note in his scribbled handwriting. Folding it up, he placed it in his bigger-on-the-inside pocket and sighed.

Her tongue-in-teeth smiled flashed in his memory and he closed his eyes, allowing her to penetrate his thoughts. Even though this whole trip was about reminding himself how much she meant to him, he still took any chance he could get to see her, unbidden, in his mind. He might stop a memory in the presence of company, but when he was alone, he allowed himself moments. Moments of when he was actually happy, when he had actually loved someone and was loved in return. Moments of when he would do _anything_ just to see her smile or hear her laugh.

He sighed once more and opened his eyes, staring at nothing. In truth, he had planned on finding a way to spend the rest of her life with him. He once again thought back to the "bio-damper" ring he still carried. The secret that no one would know, that it actually belonged to Rose Tyler and always would.

Rose kept thinking about what the Doctor had said. He had _wanted_ to spend the rest of his life with her, he had just said that. But "humans decay," he had said. She wouldn't be able to keep him, no matter how much she wanted to.

She sighed and looked at Sarah Jane. She hadn't realized that he had traveled with others, even though it made sense. She was so afraid he would forget her if somehow he left her. He said he wouldn't do that, but a small part of her wasn't too sure. She felt him pulling away from him, after they had grown so close.

Sitting in her room in the TARDIS later, she felt a tear roll down her cheek. Wiping it away, she removed her jacket and when folding it to place it on the desk chair, heard a crinkle. She pulled a note out of the pocket.

_Strange,_ she thought. _I don't remember getting any notes, or anyone getting close enough to put one in my pocket._

A part of her said it might have been Mickey, with yet _another_attempt to get her to leave the Doctor. Knowing that would never happen, she opened the note to see the Doctor's scribbled handwriting.

_Rose Tyler, you are worth getting my hearts broken for._

She sucked in a breath. When had he placed this in her pocket? And what exactly did it mean? She recalled her conversation with Sarah Jane Smith and how she had said the Doctor was worth getting her heart broken for. That was certainly true. Had he overheard? Was he toying with her emotions? Had he recanted what he had said earlier?

She reread the note again when a figure popped into her head. A man she recalled seeing on the school grounds. He wore a tweed jacket and a blue bow tie. He had green eyes and walked with confidence, much like the Doctor. She thought him to be a counselor at the school or something.

_That man! The one who I keep seeing! He kissed my hand in 1953, gave me a present at Christmas and I spoke to him in Henrik's. Who IS he?_

She considered telling the Doctor about him, then changed her mind. This strange man, whoever he was, wasn't threatening in any way; in fact, he was rather charming. She pulled out a journal and began writing down all the times she had seen him. Maybe she could figure out who he was after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to include Satan Pit in this story, for obvious reasons (I believe in her). But I couldn't figure out how to get Eleven into the story when they are falling towards the sun or down in the pit. So I kept it out, but of course, every episode in the Doctor and Rose's run is important.


	11. Chapter 10: The Parting of the Ways

Instead of stopping at a destination, this time the TARDIS turned on the monitor to show a memory. This memory was the first time the Doctor was introduced to the Bad Wolf.

He had always wondered exactly what happened; he knew she had returned, carrying the time vortex inside her, but it had always been hazy. Even when he took it out of her, it didn't give him answers.

The TARDIS showed him now. He saw her land back in London and her going to the chip place with her mother and Mickey. A twinge of jealousy struck the Doctor when he saw the ex-boyfriend. He knew it was irrational, even after all this time, but he couldn't help it. He had always been jealous that Mickey had her, officially as a girlfriend, while he was too much of a coward to tell her how he felt. Even though she had his hearts forever.

When he heard Rose talk about the man in shadows who said she was going to have a great year, he froze. _Of course she remembered,_ he thought. _She always remembered when it came to me._ He smiled to himself, the memory of him walking in front of his former self resurfacing. It had only been a few hours for him.

He watched, enraptured, as Rose enlisted the help of her mother and Mickey to open the TARDIS and help her return to him. He saw her open the floor and absorb the heart of the TARDIS. He saw the Bad Wolf emerge. He sucked in a breath.

_As dangerous as that was, she was absolutely radiant. If I hadn't been so concerned with saving her life, I would have marveled at her beauty and power. I can do that now._

Even now, he wondered how she was able to support the time vortex inside of her for so long. It should have killed a human on the spot. But of course, Rose was special. And he always suspected that he never completely removed it. A part of it lingered inside her and always would.

He saw, from his safe distance, how much damage she actually did when she took on the Daleks. His beautiful pink-and-yellow human glowing gold. He still remembered her words:

"_I see everything. All there was, all there is, all there ever will be. _

_I want you safe, my Doctor._

_I am the Bad Wolf. I create myself. I take the words. I scatter them…in time, and space. A message to lead myself here."_

A part of him knew that she would always be following him, always making sure he was safe. She had proven that when he hurtled himself into the sun to save the planet Earth. She may not be on this same world now, but her reach extended to protect him. He had felt the TARDIS cocooned as it hit the sun, felt the heat and the light brush by them, and they emerged unscathed. He hadn't wanted to admit it then, but he did now. It was his Bad Wolf that had saved him. She always did. And he knew she always would.

He watched as his leather-clad self embraced his Rose and placed his lips on hers to draw out the time vortex. The Doctor smirked at that. He could have easily drawn it out another way, but he _had_ wanted to kiss her for a long time and since he knew there was a possibility that one or both would die, and that she wouldn't remember, he saw no harm in it. Besides, it did its job; removed the vortex which then of course caused him to regenerate.

_I wouldn't have changed it for the world. I died for her. I was reborn loving her. My precious flower._

The monitor shut off and the Doctor sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"How many more of these do we have?"

It wasn't that he didn't not want to continue, he did. Oh he _so_did. He hadn't had enough of Rose Tyler in this form. But he was planning a very special surprise and like a child, was impatient to carry it out.

The TARDIS hummed at him that there were a few memories to go. He found himself smiling. More chances to see his Rose. More chances to maybe _finally_ tell her how he felt. Something he should have done a long time ago.

An idea struck him and he had to do it.

"Please, can we take a detour?" he asked his ship. She hummed in response, reading his mind and knowing what he wanted to do.

He sighed. "Thank you."


	12. Chapter 11: The Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a special treat.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Turning the handle, he took a deep breath. The door slowly opened, light shining in. The TARDIS lit up the room as he entered. He shut the door behind him, although he didn't know why, as he was the only one on the ship. But it felt more intimate this way.

It still smelled of her. He sucked in a deep breath, getting a good whiff of vanilla. Her bedroom. He looked around, noticing that everything was still in the place it had been left the last time she had been in there. Pictures on the bookshelves, the bathroom littered with makeup and hair products. Knick knacks and trinkets around the room, including the special ones the Doctor had gotten her. Shoes littering the closet. He smiled. It was chaos, but it was so Rose. He gingerly sat down on the bed. He felt his hearts clench at being in here again.

Turning to the nightstand, he placed a vase on it and in the vase, an everlasting red rose. The edges sparkled in the light and it smelled of her, of vanilla and honey. He fingered the flower gently.

_Now she will always be here._

He felt tears springing behind his eyes and he tried to fight them off. Turning to her pillow, he picked it up and sniffed it. It still smelled like her, even after all this time. He inhaled her scent deeply, as though trying to absorb it for eternity. The scent would be permanently ingrained in his psyche.

A jacket appeared next to him, the jacket that Donna Noble had grabbed the fateful day. He froze when he saw it. Looking upwards, he spoke.

"You had to, didn't you?"

The TARDIS hummed a sad tune.

This time, the tears weren't stopped. He picked up the jacket, the one he had kept in _his_ room ever since to comfort him when he needed it. As he had done so many times before, and his first time in this form, he sniffed it. Once again, his senses were invaded by vanilla and honey. He held the jacket to his hearts as he allowed the tears to fall.

The everlasting rose dulled for a moment, as though sensing his sadness.

"Oh Rose," he breathed. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry that I forgot. I _never_ forgot you, I never would. I never could. But I did forget just how much you meant to me. I love you more than anything in the universe. I left you on that parallel Earth so you would live. But I didn't realize that meant I stopped living. In a way. I've been travelling with the Ponds. They are wonderful friends. But no one ever gets close. No one, I won't allow them. It makes me feel like I'm betraying you, in a way. I know that you are happy with that version of me, but I would give anything to see you again. To see that you _are_ happy."

Tears dripped on the jacket as he spoke, darkening the purple color. After a few minutes, they waned. He put the jacket in his pocket and stood up. He picked up the rose, and kissed it.

It immediately sparkled again, glowing a bright red. Smiling, he placed it in its permanent spot on the nightstand.

Straightening up anything that he had touched, he slowly made his way to the door. He turned around for one last look.

"I probably won't open this door again; it has proven too painful. I love you, Rose Tyler. With both my hearts. Forever."

He stepped back out into the hallway of the TARDIS and shut the door, hearing the lock click. Sighing, he pulled the jacket from his pocket and replaced it in his room, over the back of the chair that it always sat on.

The TARDIS alerted him that they had reached their next destination and he sighed. While he had been giddy before about seeing the woman he loved, he now felt sadness and longing.

That sadness was about to be replaced as the ship landed in Scotland. He had a very important memory to relive, one involving werewolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had read somewhere that the Doctor kept a rose in her room so I decided to embellish on the story a bit. No harm intended to the person who wrote it, just a little imaginative fun. Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 12: Tooth & Claw

He knew he was risking paradoxes and such by doing this, but he didn't care. He saw his former self and his love, dressed in denim overalls, battle a werewolf. He remembered how worried he was for her and if he was completely honest with himself, she was the _only_ thing he was worried about.

He stood, dressed as one of the Queen's men, while he watched them hatch their plan to capture the werewolf. She kept looking up at him, in his pinstriped suit, smiling and eyes full of love. He would look up too, behind those ridiculous glasses, and smile back. His hearts soared every time he looked at her. He felt his hearts soaring now.

The Doctor smiled softly to himself at watching them. They really were a team. No other companion that traveled with him fit as well as Rose Tyler did. Not just in terms of his feelings for her, but in terms of teamwork. She always seemed to know what he was thinking and always said the right thing. He knew he could count on her and she always proved herself. He believed in one thing, just one thing.

Her.

The sound of growling snapped him from his musings. They had left now and the Queen was giving him a look like _"move it."_ He smiled sheepishly and followed her majesty out into the hall.

The werewolf was coming at them. His former self was trying to talk to it, but he saw that the beast was making a beeline for Rose. He didn't stop, didn't think, just lunged himself at her, knocking both of them to the ground. She let out a squeak upon landing.

"I'm sorry miss," he said, trying to keep up the facade. He looked into her eyes.

_Those beautiful eyes that make my hearts swell._

Time had literally stopped for them in that moment. He heard his former self shouting but all he could see was his beautiful flower.

He still held her to him, just as he remembered. His body felt the sensation of her close to him, felt the electricity. He felt whole, as always. She fit him, in every way. He tightened his grip slightly as she responded.

"That's quite alright." He smiled.

She narrowed her eyes. "I've seen you before."

As though it was a gift from Rassilon, his pinstriped self appeared at their side. The bow-tied Doctor stood up, helping the human to her feet, before bowing to her.

"Apologies," he said again. Then he looked directly at himself.

Fear and concern was in his eyes. He knew he recognized him from Versailles. The same man who kissed Rose's hand in 1953. The same man who kissed her under the mistletoe. The same man who was always there. The new Doctor made sure his former self got a good look, smirking at him.

Taking her hand, he kissed it again. Deliberately. He heard his former self suck in a breath. Then he turned and walked away. The beast was contained and he wanted to be gone before the Queen began questioning him.

Walking out of the palace, he stood behind a tree. He watched the duo leave rather suddenly and he remembered the Queen had been responsible for starting Torchwood. He narrowed his eyes at that.

_If it hadn't been for Torchwood, we would never had been in that building and fought the Daleks. Rose Tyler would never have been sucked away from me. She would still be with me._

He sighed.

Rose stopped for a moment and looked over her shoulder. She could sense him, sense that he was near. The pinstriped Doctor turned and asked if she was okay and she nodded, snapping herself out of whatever she was thinking.

She took his outstretched hand and they continued their trek, making a note to add this entry into her journal.

The bow-tied Doctor followed behind, not too close for them to see. He observed them enter the TARDIS and it dematerialized. He smiled, he never got tired of hearing that.

He crossed the short distance to where _his_ TARDIS was and he took one last look around. This memory had not been his favorite, but it was the closest he had to holding his Rose. He could still feel her in his arms, pressed against him, on that floor. Her heat, her breath, the way she fit perfectly in his arms no matter his shape.

Once inside, the TARDIS started up for the final memory. He had no idea he was about to feel his hearts break again.


	14. Chapter 13: Doomsday/Journey’s End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Painful chapter here.

He sat on the rocks a ways away, making sure he was unseen. But he could see _everything._ He saw his beautiful human walk along the beach and stop. Saw his former self in a projection as he came into view. Saw her try to reach for him and drop her hand. He closed his eyes. The spray of the water hit his face.

He would always remember that day, one of the worst days of his long life. He hated watching his love cry, hated that he had to be the one to break her heart. He hated saying goodbye to her. He had one last chance to tell her how he really and truly felt. And he meant to, oh Rassilon did he mean to! He had mustered up the courage and then….

"_I-"_

_She paused. He smiled._

"_I love you."_

_His hearts soared._

"_Quite right, too."_

_This is it, he told himself. Your last chance. TELL her. Let her know that she has your love. That she always will._

"_And I suppose…if it's my last chance to say it…_

_Rose Tyler-_"

_And the communication dropped._

The Doctor closed his eyes as he felt tears streaming down. He always tried to block this memory from surfacing. It didn't matter how old he got, he would always weep. It would always hurt.

He slowly opened his eyes again as he saw Rose embraced by her mother, completely heartbroken. He wiped his eyes and watched them approach Pete and Mickey and driving away. He continued to sit on the rocks, willing himself to stop the onslaught of tears that he so often fought against.

"Why did you choose this day?" he asked the TARDIS. "I wanted to remember happy days, not ones where my hearts were wrenched out. Look at how broken she is. My beautiful pink-and-yellow human. My Rose. _I_ did that to her. I can't…."

Before he could go further, he heard the whirring of his time machine. He looked back in the same direction and saw it materialize. Out walked Jackie, his half-human self, Rose, his pinstriped self and Donna Noble. He groaned.

"Again, why show me this? She came back to me and what did I do? I broke her heart again. I know I gave her a piece of myself, a _literal_ piece of myself, but that doesn't change the fact that I left her. I promised her I would never leave her behind and I did."

He saw Rose, now wearing a blue leather jacket, stand in front of the two Doctors. She held out her hand and touched the one in blue, realizing that he only had one heart. He remembered the conversation.

"_He's not you."_

"_He needs you; that's very me."_

It was true. But _he_ needed her too, and he was leaving her again. Yes, he was doing it to keep her safe. There were too many enemies out there and she was too important to him. He had considered keeping her with him after she returned, but after Davros, he knew that was no longer an option. He _had_ to keep her safe, so she would live. So he put his selfishness aside and took her back to the parallel Earth, knowing it would hurt her, but giving her no other option. He _hoped_ she would be happy with his other self.

He did often wonder if she was. He _was_ him in every way save for some genetics. And he _was_ still very much in love with her. He wanted her to own his heart, as she owned his two.

He watched as she asked the brown pinstriped Doctor a question, which he evaded. He wanted to kick himself for that. He had so wanted to tell her the words she wanted to hear, but he put a wall up to keep her safe. So that she would choose the half-human version of himself.

And she did.

And even though that's what he wanted, it still broke his hearts. Without a goodbye, he turned and walked back to the TARDIS. He and Donna entered it and they took off. He never even saw her break the embrace she was in and run to the ship, only to stop in shock as it dematerialized. He watched his blue suited half-self approach and take her hand. She looked at him and smiled. They turned and walked back to Jackie. The three of them left the beach.

The Doctor's hearts still ached. He sat there on the rock, long after they left and tried to calm the ache. He knew he had done the right thing, but still, it hurt like hell to give her up. And while she did know he loved her, as the blue suit version had told her, she never did hear the words from himself.

_Coward every time._

Wiping his eyes, he took one last look around before he stood up and climbed down the rocks and walked into the TARDIS. His hearts heavy, he sat at the console as she punched in a new destination.

"What are you doing?"

She set the coordinates and they took off.

"What else is there to see?"

The ship hummed, telling him to be patient. He scowled as she landed.

"I just want to forget this last one. The pain is too much to bear."

She hummed at him. He looked at the date.

_The present._

They were still on the parallel Earth.

She was giving him a chance to see her again, to see the love of his life now, one last time. To finally tell her what he should have said so long ago.

He smiled.

"Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter next. Thanks so much for reading!


	15. Chapter 14: Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.

Taking a deep breath, he hit the door knocker. He stared at the door and smirked.

_TARDIS blue_, he thought.

When the door opened, his breath was taken away, as she often did. Before him stood the woman he had always loved. Her blond hair shone in the sunlight and she didn't look that much older.

_Odd,_ he thought.

"May I help you?" she said. Her cinnamon eyes twinkled.

He couldn't speak for a moment. He was so caught up in the fact that he really _was_ here, in front of his beloved. Every day he spent with her oh so long ago flashed before his eyes in the fraction of a second.

The Doctor opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. She smiled and waited patiently.

"Rose," he managed to get out.

She raised an eyebrow at him and then glanced down at the bow tie. She sucked in a breath. In her head, flashes of this same man appeared. Kissing her hand in 1953. Watching her get chloroformed in 1869. Giving her a quick peck under mistletoe one Christmas. It was the same man. Reality dawned on her.

"Doctor," she said quietly. Her mind flashed back to her journal that she had kept, so long ago. Left in the TARDIS with her other belongings.

He smiled and nodded. She drew in another breath. "What happened?"

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "Long story."

She nodded. "Please come in."

He accepted graciously and entered her house. He looked around the foyer as she shut the door and turned to face him.

"I…"

He smiled again. Then he reached for her hand. Like an automatic response, she took it. The electricity was back tenfold. She looked down at their joined hands.

"I haven't felt this in years," she confessed.

"Me neither."

She looked up into his green eyes. Stepping closer, she brought her left hand up and slowly traced his features. Against his will, his eyes closed and he leaned into her touch.

"I've missed you so much," he breathed out.

Her hand stilled. He opened his eyes and saw tears in hers.

"So have I," she said. "I've missed you so much it hurts. I've always tried to understand why you left me here."

He reached up and placed his hand over hers, keeping it against his cheek. "So you would live," he said simply.

She nodded. A tear fell down her cheek. He released her hand against his face and wiped the tear away. Then he pulled her into a hug. Immediately the scent of vanilla invaded his senses and he took a deep breath, breathing her in.

She smiled as she heard the two heartbeats against her ear. A fresh set of tears started, dampening his shirt, but neither of them cared.

His whole body relaxed as he held her. He felt happy. He felt home. He wrapped his arms around her back, holding her incredibly close, as hers came around his neck. He placed a kiss on the top of her head and allowed her to cry against him.

"Your counterpart is dead," she said.

He jolted at the shock but kept his arms around her. "What happened?"

"Drunk driver. Hit me on my side but John didn't survive. I only did because I had the Bad Wolf still inside me. The doctors said it was a miracle. I of course knew differently."

He squeezed her tighter. "I'm so sorry." He hadn't considered that his human form could be ripped away from her at any time.

She sniffled. "Don't be. It's not your fault. It happened a year after you left us. I didn't get any time with him at all."

_Now I understand why she doesn't look like she's aged. The Bad Wolf is still inside her, preserving her. Keeping her safe. Perhaps…making her immortal?_

He best not hoped.

His left hand came up and cradled her head against his chest. His eyes closed and he continued to hold his weeping angel.

After a minute, the crying stopped. He hummed against her, letting her know she was okay, she was safe. She pulled back, eyes puffy from crying. He gave her a sad smile.

_She still looks beautiful to me._

"I'm sorry," she said as she pulled out of his embrace. He immediately missed her and reached for her again. She evaded his hand. "Tea?"

He nodded and followed her to the kitchen. He looked at the hallway along the way, noticing the colors and the pictures on the wall. Paintings, no photographs.

When he entered the kitchen, he saw a mural of the TARDIS on the far wall. He smiled.

"I had to," she said with a smile.

He approached it and stared. Intricate detail into the outside of the box. She even had the nick that had been acquired on one of their adventures. He smiled widely. Of course, _his_ Rose would remember every detail.

They drank their tea and made small talk, the Doctor just happy to be in her presence again. He could tell she had walls up and he didn't blame her. But he was determined to knock those down, as she had his.

"Radiation poisoning," he said after they had sat in silence for a moment. Their tea was long gone, jammie dodgers eaten. Her eyes grew wide.

"Ouch."

He nodded. "I absorbed ten times the amount that was survivable. I held off on regenerating until I had seen my friends…seen you." He looked her in the eye.

"January 1, 2005," he said. Her eyes widened.

"I remember!"

He smiled. "Yes. I was close to the end but I had to see you, to say goodbye. I had intended on following up with the words I should have said to you oh so long ago on that beach." She swallowed at his confession. "But you didn't know me. How could I have said it when it would have meant nothing?"

She reached across the table and took his hand.

"You still could have."

He smiled.

"I regenerated into the eccentric, handsome man you see before you," he said with a smirk. She smacked his arm and giggled. Oh, how he had missed that! "I've been traveling with companions too. Most recently the Ponds. Nice couple."

She smiled. "I never wanted you on your own."

He sighed. "No matter who flies with me, they aren't you. Every hand I hold, it doesn't fit right. I never smile when I hug anymore and I always keep people at a distance." He looked up to her eyes. They were brimming with tears again. He reached over and stroked her cheek. "You, Rose Tyler, are always in my hearts."

Tears fell in earnest again as he stood up and pulled her into another hug. He gently pulled her head back and looked at her. He leaned down and kissed the tears from her cheek.

"My Rose," he whispered. He heard her ragged breath as he continued repeating those words while kissing her face. Then he gently pressed his lips to hers, earning a small gasp.

It was supposed to be a kiss of comfort. But nothing ever goes as planned with Rose Tyler. When she kissed back, all control left him. He felt her press her tongue against his lips and he granted access, groaning as her tongue mingled with his. The taste of honey was back. Her hands wound into his hair and although not as stickity-uppity as his previous self, there was still plenty for her to run her hands through, eliciting another groan from him. His hands roamed down the side of her torso and landed at her waist, pulling her impossibly close to him. Their tongues danced against each other and he could feel her trembling.

She broke for air and he took the opportunity to regain control. He hadn't meant to lose it for fast but he found he couldn't hold back. Now that he had her again, he was determined to never let her go.

He pressed his forehead against hers. "Rose Tyler, I love you. I always will."

She kissed him again, a quick one this time. "I love you too, Doctor. I always have."

He nodded against her forehead. "Come with me?"

She opened her eyes and looked into his. "Seriously?"

He nodded. She sighed. "I'd love to. But I need to get my affairs in order first. Give me a week?"

"Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere this time."

_Not without you._

The Doctor kissed her again, harder this time. He wanted her to know exactly what she meant to him. He pressed her against him and she felt something hard against her leg. She pulled back and looked at him, blushing.

"No pressure," he said with a smirk.

She giggled. Then she broke the embrace but took his hand. She led him towards the door. He looked at her questiongly.

"Doesn't mean we can't take a trip now," she said. He grinned at her.

_That's the Rose Tyler I know and love. Always up for adventure._

"Geronimo," he said with a smile. She looked at him.

"Wow, you are different. I was expecting allons-y."

He smiled. "New personality." He tugged at the bow tie. "I wear bow ties now."

She fingered it. "I can get used to it." Images of him before her in the past flashed in her mind, most notably the awful Christmas bow tie that lit up and blinked red and green.

"Bow ties are cool."

Rose laughed and his hearts soared. He loved that sound and was determined to hear it every day.

Raising her hand to his lips, he kissed it gently. Then he squeezed her hand.

"Perfect fit," he said. She smiled.

"Come on," he said as he tugged her out the door. "The TARDIS has been wanting to see you."

Locking the door, she turned and followed him across the street. "I've missed her so much."

He stopped its doors and looked at Rose. "I-I never did anything with your room. It's still the same as it always was. With one small addition."

She ran a hand down his arm reassuringly. "That is so sweet."

The Doctor sighed. "It hurt too much. I never tried to forget you Rose, never would, but I did try to avoid things that would make me think of you." He unlocked the door and gestured the blonde inside. "I'm sorry."

Stepping into the TARDIS, she smiled. "That's perfectly okay. I tried to do the same." She looked around. "I failed miserably."

"So did I."

He closed the door and walked up the ramp, watching his beloved. She was skipping around the console, chatting with his sentient ship, happy and carefree.

Kazran's words came back to him as he leaned against the railing.

"_One last day with your beloved. Which day would you choose?"_

He smiled to himself. _This day,_ he decided. _This would be the day. The day Rose Tyler returned to me. The day my hearts began to heal. The day I became whole once more._

She came up to him, smiling. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into another kiss. He would never have enough of his pink-and-yellow human.

_Yes,_ he thought. _The Doctor in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler. As it should be._

The TARDIS hummed in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading. I have a special treat for you. While the story is finished, I am adding Ten's POV to the final chapter.


	16. Chapter 16: Ten's POV

"I bet you're gonna have a really great year."

She smiled at me. _Damn, she was gorgeous_. "Yeah?"

I smiled back. "Yeah."

She looked down for a second and then back at me, contemplating my words. "See ya!" She turned and bounded away.

I watched her as she entered her flat, glancing at me through the window. I sighed deeply. My pink-and-yellow human. I would always love her, no matter what form I took. I had wanted to tell her, had planned to when I saw her, but I couldn't. This was before we were destined to meet. How could I say "I love you" when it would mean nothing to the girl who meant EVERYTHING? It probably would scare her, hearing it from a random stranger, one who she thought was inebriated. This was best.

Even though my hearts ached to tell her and my arms wanted to hold her one last time.

I trudged along slowly, the radiation in my body at the critical level. I had been holding it in for so long. I just had to get back to the TARDIS. This was not going to be pretty.

A shot of pain hit me and I collapsed to my knees in the snow. I could barely make out the sound of footsteps approaching, but I was too focused on breathing to notice. I was so close to her; just a little further and I will be inside my ship.

Taking a breath, I looked up at the person walking by me. I recognized him; strange looking man. Prominent chin, green eyes, hair on the right side. Bow tie.

_What the?_

I knew him. He accosted me after Reinette, mentally slapping some sense into me. He kissed Rose's hand when we were in 1953. I remembered glaring at him for touching her. He kissed her under mistletoe too. A quick peck, but enough to get my blood boiling. He made eye contact with me, just like now. Then though, he looked arrogant. Now he looked sad. In the span of a second, all the times I saw him flashed through my brain. Another spasm of pain hit me, but I was locked onto his eyes. Very familiar.

He kept walking past, not bothering to help. My gaze faltered to his hand as I heard a familiar buzzing. Then I saw it. I froze.

A sonic screwdriver.

It was him. My next form. If he was here, it meant he hadn't forgotten Rose either and still loved her as much as I did. He was reliving, as I was. He walked on and disappeared. I rose to my feet, stumbling into the TARDIS as my previous panic was replaced with calming thoughts of the woman I loved. I took a breath.

"I don't want to go."

The buzzing sound returned as I faded away, flashes of blonde hair, the smell of vanilla and a radiant smile my welcome into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it, that's the story. Thank you to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed. I have a few new ideas in the works (Eleven actually getting a New Year's with Rose) so please stick around. I have a few other Doctor Who stories along with several others.


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